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Ted Bird posted this classic on Facebook

Business news anchor loses it

Where is this guy when Chris Lee is working hockey games?

Shout-out to The Capitalist Pig for finding this classic.

Tough call, but this has to be the Dumbest Cop in Canada

At least one Canadiens fan is excited about Alex Auld.

And guess which HIO blogger got confused at the beach.

The 2010-'11 season begins Oct. 7 against those ruffians in Toronto.

Here's the starting lineup:

In goal: Carey Price, starting the first year of a nice new contract.

On defence: Hal Gill, Josh Gorges, Roman Hamrlik, P.K. Subban, Jaroslav Spacek and Ryan O'Byrne.

The forward lines: Andrei Kostitsyn-Tomas Plekanec-Mike Cammalleri, Benoit Pouliot-Scott Gomez-Brian Gionta, Tom Pyatt-Dustin Boyd/Maxim Lapierre-Lars Eller, Travis Moen-Boyd/Lapierre-Mathieu Darche.

Backup goaltender: He's tall, he's bald, he's Alex Auld (I love that Pangerism)

Eating hot dogs: Pick two among Ryan White, Brock Trotter, Max Pacioretty and maybe someone who has a great training camp.

Barring injury or a trade I don't see happening, that's it until Andrei Markov gets back.

OK, maybe not a group that scares the Chicago Blackhawks.

But you know what?

Decent team ... with maybe a chance to be good.

Only 98 more sleeps ...

Ian Tyson, a Canadian, wrote the song.

But Suzy Bogguss just kills it.

This will be lost on anyone who didn't study Philosophy 100, but what a hoot!

Hockey players can be jerks on occasion, as evidenced by any Sean Avery highlight reel you'd care to cue up.

But baseball players?

They're really special.

In 2007, Chicago Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano signed a five-year contract worth a cool $91.5 million.

Check this dugout altercation between Zambrano and Cubs first baseman Derek Lee.

Where's the BGL Code when you need it?

Canadiens surrender their number 27 pick and their second rounder to move up to 22 and take a big, physical Dman with impeccable bloodlines.

John Cleese gets us ready for England vs. Germany on Sunday.

Tomas Plekanec almost certainly left $$$ on the table.

Not that we'll be organizing a tag day for him anytime soon.

$30 million probably goes a long way for a guy who makes his off-season home in Kladno, not Aspen.

Pleks is staying with the Canadiens because Pierre Gauthier, unlike his predecessor, began talking to Rick Curran during the season. The general manager and Pleks's agent worked together toward crafting a deal that makes the player happy and allows him to express a feeling we didn't hear from Mark Streit, Mike Komisarek or Alex Kovalev.

Tomas Plekanec has said all along he likes Montreal. And he meant it.

Pleks told CKAC he enjoys playing in front of 21,273 fans who live for hockey – even though he might have made more money to play in a half-empty arena.

Arpon Basu has written two characteristically thoughtful pieces on the signing.

I think it was a wise move by Gauthier, who essentially made a choice between Pleks and Jaro Halak, knowing he couldn't afford to keep both.

I've heard it suggested the Canadiens let their playoff hero walk while re-signing the playoff goat.

That isn't fair to Plekanec. He was not the reason the Canadiens lost to a greatly superior team in the Conference finals.

Also, Plan B behind Halak is a goaltender whom scouts, coaches and hockey executives STILL consider a can't-miss prospect.

If Plekanec left, who would centre Mike Cammalleri and, if off-season proctological surgery successfully extricates his head from his anus, Andrei Kostitsyn?

Maxim Lapierre?

Ben Maxwell?

Yes, Plekanec is undersized. But who was a better playoff performer for the Flyers: Daniel Brière or Jeff Carter?

Plekanec is a Jacques Martin favourite because he' s a good citizen and a hard worker who is durable and does many things well.

His loss would have created a giant vacuum, on Pleks's line but also on the power play and, most crucially, the PK.

Do all those little things add up to $5 million per for six seasons?

Pierre Gauthier thought so.

And the general manager seems resolute in turning thought into action.

CAUTION: Cuss words, in English and French

Chantal Machabée posted it to Facebook

Sing it, Janis!

Not really.

The organization has always believed in Carey Price's upside.

Jaro Halak is the redheaded step-child who became a playoff hero.

Pardon the pun, but with a hefty arbitration award looming, Halak priced himself out of the Canadiens' plans.

But his postseason heroics didn't vault Jaro's trade value into the stratosphere, but it's a buyer's market for goaltenders: Evegeni Nabokov, Anterro Niitymaki, Marty Turco, José Theodore, Chris Mason, Ray Emery ... not to mention recent Vezina laureate Tim Thomas.

At least they dealt him to the Western Conference, where John Davidson gets to negotiate with Allan Walsh.

Carey Price lost many tough-luck games this season. Flukes, deflections, weird plays.

Adversity didn't break him. The erstwhile Franchise was more mature. He worked harder and was an unfailingly supportive teammate while watching Halak become a playoff legend.

Now it's his team, and the pressure on Price will be enormous.

One or two soft goals, a bad outing and the whole city will be talking about Jaro's 53 saves in Game 6 against Washington.

The Canadiens have given Price an enormous vote of confidence.

What Pierre Gauthier has to do now is improve the team in front of his goaltender – including a D that will begin the season without Andrei Markov.

Lars Eller and Ian Schultz do not guarantee a return to the Conference finals.

On the other hand, cap-wise this may free up enough to re-sign Tomas Plekanec.

Could Price have brought greater value? Maybe a front-line player, like Jeff Carter from the Flyers.

Maybe.

But Pierre Gauthier weighed salary cap considerations, organizational depth and his faith that Price can become a star.

•  •  •

Funny Tweet from Dan Tolensky:

Habs did pretty well getting Rucinsky & Kovalenko in the deal. I mean Eller & Schultz. Also, Thibault is the future in goal. I mean Price.

Dylan McIlrath, aka The Freight Train from Winnipeg, aka The Undertaker.

He's 6'5" and weighs 215. He had 169 PiM and was on the winning end of many fights in the world's toughest junior league.

Only 18, but older players in the WHL were highly averse to dropping the gloves with McIlrath.

And he's got a rocket from the point.

We're not talking about the second coming of Larry Robinson. But given how soft the Canadiens play, I'd settle for the second coming of Lyle Odelein.

When was the last time the Canadiens had a bona-fide intimidator, à la Chris Pronger, on the back-end?

Mike Komisarek? Well, we thought so ... till Milan Lucic disabused Komo and his fans of that notion.

Now, violence is the tool of the ignorant and I abhor all forms of Don Cherry hockey.

But players like Lucic, Chris Neil and Scott Hartnell kill the Canadiens.

And the division is becoming tough. Buffalo has Zack Kassian on the way, and we know what kind of team Brian Burke is building in Toronto.

It would be nice if a big, playmaking centre were available when the Canadiens draft with the 28th pick of the first round.

But I doubt it.

Most mock drafts have McIlrath going in the mid-20s. If I'm Pierre Gauthier, I look at ways to move up and get him.

Added bonus: Mitch Melnick loves anyone named Dylan.

You're happy tonight.

A young, talented and exciting team – a revitalized franchise, representing a great sports town – won the Stanley Cup.

And the longest drought in the league?

"Sixty-seven!"

And on this night, a mere 17 years ago ...

And maybe a great one.

Guy Boucher has succeeded at every level of his coaching career, in the Q and, most recently, with the Bulldogs.

He has three university degrees, has studied psychology and is a master motivator and tactician who – in the phrase frequently used to describe him – "thinks outside the box."

After Boucher turned down the Columbus offer, some hoped for the Bob McKenzie scenario: Bouchewr becomes an assistant or "associate" coach with the Canadiens, learning the ropes at the NHL level for a year before succeeding Jacques Martin, who would be moved upstairs.

Perhaps the Canadiens made that pitch.

But Steve Yzerman made a better one.

Boucher is going to a good situation in Tampa Bay. The Lighning have established stars in Vincent Lecavalier (who'll be number one on the new coach's psychological rehab list), Martin St. Louis and Ryan Malone.

Steven Stamkos had a breakout season in 2009-'10. Victor Hedman is considered a can't miss star on the back end.

Yzerman learned his management chops from Detroit GM Ken Holland, who's as close to a latter-day Sam Pollock as there is in the league. Stevie Y has the full support of Jeff Vinik, TB's new owner (succeeding the two clowns); and Boucher will have the full support of Yzerman.

Added bonus: Boucher's wife and young children move to a city that's probably more liveable than Hamilton.

If Boucher leads the Lightning up the Eastern Conference standings, Canadiens fans will wonder what might have been.

What's the point?

Guy Boucher, who doesn't make rash decisions, thought it over and decided he was ready to become a head coach.

The Canadiens have a coach.

Jacques Martin has three years left on a rich contract that includes a hefty penalty clause if he's sacked.

Martin just coached the Canadiens to the Eastern Conference finals.

So what could Pierre Gauthier do?

Fire Martin because Boucher is in a hurry?

That wasn't going to happen.

So in the NHL's shallow pool of French-speaking coaches, a potential superstar swims south.

Where was Maichael Let-it-in during the Canadiens series?

Chicago dominated vast stretches of the game, as Joel Quenneville's line juggling brought his good players to life.

The Hawks top line had a big night, as Jim Hughson said, "but all on different lines."

Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews and Dustin Byfuglien had big games, as did most of their teammates.

Big Buf had two goals, two assists, four SoG and NINE hits.

The game plan was aggressive forechecking to pressure the Flyers' overworked D.

It certainly worked with Chris Pronger. The Conn Smythe candidate was pounded all night and minus-5.

The question: Who starts in nets for the Flyers Wednesday night?

Since the lockout, every team that has won Game 4 took the Cup.

Are you starting to understand how the Flyers disposed of the Canadiens so easily?

These guys can play.

And Peter Laviolette can coach.

Chris Pronger was plus-4.

Eleven Flyers blocked a total of 28 shots to 11 by five Hawks.

Ville Leino, a healthy scratch for the first three games of the playoffs, set a Flyers rookie record with 16 postseason points – five more than he scored during the regular season.

Chicago made it interesting late in the game, but Philadelphia has seized momentum in this series.

Ma Kostitsyn remembers the time Andrei and Sergei set the family cat on fire.

It's a series.

A classic game ends six minutes into overtime, when Claude Giroux beats Antti Niemi with a short tip-in.

The Flyers were full value for winning a classic playoff game, dominating the third period and the OT.

Would have been a shame had it ended on a video review.

But it didn't.

He wasn't one of the three stars, but Ville Leino played an outstanding game.

So did lots of guys .... notably Duncan Keith.

Hits, skating, high intensity ... sets up a sweet Game 4.

Antti Niemi made 32 saves – 15 in a frantic third period.

His D blocked 18 shots  – six by Duncan Keith.

And Ben Eager, of all people, scored the winner.

Game 2 looked like a Stanley Cup final.

72 hits.

Lots of nastiness.

And Chicago – 7-1 on the road in the playoffs – goes into Philly with a 2-0 lead.

A Stanley Cup final third period – preceded by 40 minutes of October hockey.

Tomas Kopecky scored the winner, becoming one of nine Blackhawks on the scoresheet ... none of them named Toews, Kane or Byfuglien.

Mike Richards, Simon Gagné and Jeff Carter were shut out for the Flyers.

But the name to remember – or maybe forget – is Michael Leighton.

Thre shutouts against the Canadiens.

Five goals on 20 shots in 35 minutes against Chicago.

Interesting stats:

The erstwhile Broad Street Bullies took ZERO penalties.

Toews 18-6 on draws ... and won his first 13.

Chris Pronger played 32:21

The Toews line: collectively minus-9.

Again, not a classic.

Troy Brouwer said the teams had "settled down" and predicted we'd be seeing better hockey.

Let's hope.

As I was saying, just before the dastardly Gary Bettman/Paul Devorski/Michael Leighton conspiracy crashed Habs Inside/Out for longer than Ryan O'Byrne's ToI in the playoffs ...

It's great to be back.

Did I miss anything?

Pat Hickey has a splendid analysis of all the tough decisions Pierre Gauthier faces in the off-season, eg. Price or Halak, Tomas Plekanec, the Brothers K, a humane way to euthanize MAB.

It will be a lively summer, and – technology permitting – HIO will keep fans up on what's goin' down.

And because I love hockey and can't face the thought of resuming my day job, there will live game blogging of the Stanley Cup final, beginning tomorrow night.

It should be a dandy: Jonathan Toews vs. Mike Richards, Chris Pronger vs. Dustin Byfuglien, all those nice Chicagoans vs. the creepozoids in Philly.

I want the Blackhawks to win. But factoring in experience, grit and the Hossa Curse, the prediction is:

Flyers in seven

•  •  •

How much is Jaro worth?

La Presse has a story that suggests $4.4 million.

*  *  *  

Last edition of L'attaque à 5 tonight.

I won't miss Jean Perron.

I will miss Jean Pagé, Marc de Foy, Tony Marinaro and – most of all – the incomparably foxy Evelyne Audet.

What are you gonna do?

The clearly superior team won the series – but they had to fight till the siren to do it.

There was NO SHAME in the loss.

Many of your Montreal Canadiens played their bloody hearts out, tonight and through the weeks leading to tonight.

The roll call of heroes begins with Jaroslav Halak.

It continues with Mike Cammalleri, Brian Gionta, Scott Gomez, Hal Gill, Josh Gorges, P.K. Subban, Dominic Moore and Tom Pyatt.

Honourable mentions: Jaroslav Spacek, Roman Hamrlik, Travis Moen and Maxim Lapierre

They gave us more than any Canadiens fan had a right to expect.

Now the spring of miracles is over.

And it feels like ... well, pick a metaphor for emptiness.

But NOT DISAPPOINTMENT!

Props to the greatest overachievers in the NHL.

And I celebrated an awesome season by deleting Timo's account.

Sing it, Felicity Hamer

Got a better adjective?

He once thought of something provocative to say, but caught himself just in time.

He has described a decapitation as an "upper-body injury."

He speaks during timeouts – to Kirk Muller, who then talks to the team.

He is the least interesting man in the world.

"I don't always hold press conferences, but when I do I prefer to say nothing.

"Stay bored, my friends."

History was made at what might have been the last game at the Bell Centre this season.

Your Montreal Canadiens were shut out for the third time in this series.

In the glorious franchise's 100 years, that has never happened in the playoffs.

The Canadiens have racked up three shutouts, says HIO resident historian David Stubbs. They did it to Chicago in 1965.

But they've never been blanked three times.

And Michael F. Leighton – career minor leaguer – has a chance to make it four.